I started my new job a couple of weeks ago and enjoy it, but I’m exhausted because of it. I wish I could go into detail – actually you know what? I’ll be completely honest.
I seriously thought about shutting down my blog because I’ve lost a bit of faith in the blogging community. Blogging used to be fun and interesting. I understand so much more about Anorexia and Bulimia, Binge Eating and EDNOS than I ever could reading a text book, and I’m so grateful for this. It’s also lovely that there are bloggers out there who have gone through such different experiences and feel they can share them with supportive readers who will help just by reading, even though they may not realise it.
We all know there are risks to blogging – there are strange people out in the world and the internet gives them access to us. As well as the supportive, pro-recovery or people not sure what to do, there are people who are so deep in their disorders that they feel a need to share their happiness with the world.
As much as I don’t like this, glazing over everything not so glamorous and emphasising how great it is to not eat or be thin (it’s interesting how you don’t get that so much with binge-eating, right? I mean, there’s nothing glamorous about being so uncomfortably full you have to take deep breaths and lay down. And then the end result is usually weight gain.) as much as I don’t like this, I can understand it.
What I can’t understand is when people share their experiences of recovery and health, and then are sent ‘anonymous’ emails. A couple of weeks ago I made a brief return to blogland and left again, because, as I’m sure many of you will know, Greta’s boss received an anonymous email telling her about her blog etc.
That right there is disgusting. And yeah, I meant to put ‘anonymous’. This kind of behaviour is disgusting because Greta wears her heart on her sleeve, and gives a lot of people, including myself, encouragement that an Eating Disorder free life is possible.
As I started a new job a couple of weeks ago, I feel it would be foolish of me to write details about it. I don’t want to say what sector it’s in, the city, anything that might give away some details. So that means I can’t blog about something pretty fucking significant in my life, because someone somewhere might try to sabotage me, like someone attempted – and FAILED, may I add – to sabotage Greta.
I thought about making this blog private, but one of the many reasons that I write is so that people like me who feel they suffer by themselves, can read it and realise they’re not alone, like I’m not alone. And I’m stubborn I’m not going to stop blogging because someone might possibly attempt to hurt my feelings or use my problems against me in real life.
I Just Thought This Was Funny. And I Don’t Even Like Bacon.
So I’m back blogging now. I’ve had my rant, and I’ve posted a funny passive aggressive note, I feel a lot better, so yeah. Thank you for bearing with me, I am genuinely excited to catch up on blogs and find some new ones that may have popped up since I’ve been gone.
Hayley Emma
Glad you are back!
Thank you
xx
It’s very brave of you to be so open about your identity (I’m not!) and I’m glad that you’re not going to let this one idiot from stopping or slowing you down.
It is said that there is a small minority of individuals who will try to hurt others but, I think it’s worth remembering that the vast majority are only here to support you, to share and to learn.
Thank you, that’s exactly the reason i’m going to keep blogging
xx
way to go! bot for you and Greta’s Boss!
Thanks! Greta’s boss seems awesome
xx
it was seriously the most fugnastyazz thing EVERRRRRSSSZZZZZ.
Absolutely redunk and demands no more of our attention because the internet cannot CANNOT be full of that many crazy psychos. All the drama seems concentrated if you ask me…and that little concentrated area is just…..so far below us. FOR REAL. It’s laughable the absolute insanity.
Them trickwitches be bitchstresses. Wait…no. THAT trickwitch be a bitchstress.
Thank goodness Greta is unscathed (Hi Greta!) but man. I doubt she has ANY hater(s), you know? Her blog is 189 million% NOT hate-worthy.
Again. Concentrated area.
Missy can i shrink you and keep you in my pocket so that when i’m feeling low you can say stuff like ‘bitchstress’ and ‘fugnastyazz’ please? Thanks
I can’t imagine anyone hating Greta, but i can imagine people being insanely jealous – gorgeous, working in fashion, impeccable taste, in the process of recovering, lovely, freshly pressed?! So many reasons to admire her, but some people choose to be jealous. So sad.
Concentrated area indeed
xx
By the way…lol….just found this.
Perfect for ladies and gents “like us” ,…lol….http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/09/25/this-cake-makes-me-nervous/
Oh God (sadly) yes! Do love passive aggressive notes!
Hahaha brilliant! xx
So beautifully written. You’ve voiced what I’ve been feeling about recent shenanigans.
Thank you, i knew i wasn’t alone thinking this
xx
I’m really glad you wrote this! I could not agree more. So truthful and honest. Keep fighting!
Congrats to both you and Greta! Lovely blogesses
A
Thank you
You’re very sweet xx
Missed you, glad you’re back. (P.S. I’ve lost my phone, so I hope you didn’t try to reach me.)
I did haha, but i will email you
xx
You are rocking this topic, hun! And all those nice things you write about be – oh, I appreciate those so much and feel unworthy receiving this lovely attention. Thank YOU.
The blogging is crazy! The craziest!!! I did too think of deleting it, making it private… I still do. I still get some stupid messages about “WOE is you” I don’t know what the hell it means, but I know it’s not good… Hell, I do blogging for fun. I enjoy it and never force anything if I don’t feel like sharing. so screw the haters and let’s blog about life but not live to blog!
xoxo
‘let’s blog about life but not live to blog!’ – Yes!
The craziness is so unnecessary. Having the blog break made me realise if i wanted to close the blog down i could, i’d miss it a bit but it wouldn’t be the be all and end all. Let’s not let it suck the fun out of blogging
xx
I love you! And I’m so glad you didn’t let that batshit crazy bitch (loved the tag haha) push you off the internets. We need MORE people like YOU to balance out the crazy! You really do give hope to many.
I saw Greta’s comment above about the woe is me stuff. I asked her, outright, and apparently she calls us ‘woe is me’ bloggers specifically because we do have HOPE. I think she thinks that people who have hope, don’t fight for what they hope for – which couldn’t be more wrong. *eyes rolling* Yeah… obviously english class wasn’t her strong suit.
Anyway – I’m so glad you are back. We have a battle with ED to win, and hope to spread
Lots of love xoxox
A lot of her philosophies don’t make sense so i’m happy to be a woe is me blogger, it’s better than a bury-my-head-in-the-sand blogger in my opinion
Thank you Fiona 
You’re lovely xxx
I totally agree with you there!! Proud to be upfront and honest, rather than in denial and off in fairy land!
xx
You are lovely yourself – very much
Just saw this because I’ve been taking a break from the ED blogging world…I’ve been down about all the dramaaaaaasssss too.
You’re a beautiful lady, and a good friend to Greta. Don’t let it get you down. Fi’s right…Hope is permeates all these blogs, and I think some people are just jealous of others moving forward in recovery. Hopelessness is a terrible thing.