Last week was my friend’s wedding, and it was beautiful. She looked stunning in her dress, the groom looked handsome in his suit and it was a gorgeous summers day.
I’ll ask permission from the bride when she gets back from her honeymoon about whether I can post a picture of the day on here because apart from the fact that she’s such a brilliant friend, her wedding was so pretty!
I bared my upper arms. I thought I’d be nervous in the run up to the big day but the anxiety only kicked in the night before. I was more worried that everything was going to go according to plan, as my friend had worked hard to get every little detail perfect.
Not being well with IBS the night before the wedding (I won’t go into any more detail, don’t worry) It started to sink in that in a matter of hours I’d be walking out before the bride in front of her friends and family. Then I reminded myself what everyone does at weddings when the bridesmaids walk out – they try to look around them to see the blushing bride. With that in mind, I just kept reminding myself that although showing my arms was a big deal for me, it wasn’t a big deal for anyone else. People were there to see two wonderful people get married, and finally, finally I stopped obsessing about my arms and focused on the task ahead.
With the possibility of IBS occurring on the day, I took my tablets and tried to eat a little bit regularly. I took myself away to a separate hotel room before the other bridesmaids arrived to start the process of getting ready and did a ‘grounding’. A grounding is a form of meditation, as when a person because stressed about something, their thoughts can become muddled. Doing a grounding, becoming aware of myself and my surroundings has really helped when my anxiety has become overwhelming. The thought of being centre of attention before the bride appeared had me freaking out, so I led on the hotel bed with Katy Perry’s Wide Awake (I’m loving that song at the moment) in the background and became aware of my body. Then I started to pick apart the day into more manageable chunks – first, hair. Second, make-up. Third, dress.
I offered to help relax the bride as she was also anxious – obviously, it was her wedding day! – but she calmed down when the other bridesmaids arrived.
The wedding itself was beautiful, we walked outside to a gazebo and witnessed the marriage. It was the perfect place to get married, and the bride and the groom looked so happy.
After the pictures were taken and I sweated off my fake tan (no joke) I slipped on my bolero. I am so thankful that I could put a cover-up on for the reception.
The Flowers I Walked Down The Aisle With
In conclusion, I totally did it! I showed my upper arms to people for the first time in … I don’t know, maybe a decade? Probably longer. I’m really proud of myself, and I don’t think I’ve actually meant that before. I’m proud of myself because I did something that, to me, was difficult. Showing my arms means showing my weight, I wasn’t able to hide. It’s showing my problems, everything I despise about myself, and you know what? It didn’t feel as terrible as I thought it would. I was self-conscious, yes, but I was still able to enjoy my friend’s wedding as two people in love getting married.
So, I’m happy.
Emma
I’m so proud of you!!!!!!!!! Well done.
Thank you
So proud of you; that you had the courage to stick this one out, regardless of how uncomfortable you felt with the idea. You stuck your ground. Well done!
Thank you!
xx
Way to go!! Bask in the victory!! xo
Haha will do
xx
xo
In my experience the anticipatory pre-projection deal has 100% proven worse about the experience. Most of the time? The experience is 100% enjoyable.
And you end up…like you said. Happy!
Brains. So silly.
You are all things Good Emma.
PS – love the idea of the “manageable chunks” –I’m-a be taking that one home with me. And I love the tag “Brave”
Brains are silly indeed. Thank you, so are you Missy, you’re a bundle of loveliness
xx
I was so eager to read about this wedding you were preparing with so much love to. Now, I’m just Wow! You are one amazing princess warrior here! So happy, so proud and so inspired by you, Emma!
I don’t think i’ve ever been called a princess warrior …but i like it
Thank you Greta, you inspire me with every post you write 
xx
I’ve been reading your comments at other blogs and have been so impressed by your writing that I thought I’d visit your blog.
And about your experience of being a bridesmaid — I celebrate your victory and I’m happy for you. It reminded me of my own wedding and how my 3 bridesmaids helped me right before the wedding. It was one of the most special things to have those ladies at my side. What a wonderful gift you gave your friend the bride!
Ooh thank you Gel! Aww i honestly can’t imagine being the bride in that situation so it’s lovely to know it really does mean a lot
xx
So proud of you! I bet you were BEAUTIFUL. Being that brave makes someone more beautiful that any amount of hair, makeup, or pretty clothing ever could.
You helped give your friend memories for a lifetime, and you proved to yourself you could do it. Total day of win all-around! Go, you!
Aww thank you, total day of win all-around – i like that description!
xx
Yay! What a wonderful post! And your strategies are amazing. I am so happy for you that you could enjoy your friend’s wedding and celebrate with them despite all your previous worries. Well done, be proud and take this great achievement home with you.
It will show you in another stressful situation that you can rely on your strength and braveness.
I celebrate you!
Yes, every achievement means that i CAN do these things if i take the right steps to push myself and calm myself down. And if i can do it, that means everyone else can too
Thank you Bee xx
Emma..congrats on everything you achieved on that day!! You could have freaked out completely, panicked, given up, any number of times in the lead up to being in front of everyone,but you did everything you could to counteract all the thoughts and feelings and you MADE IT!! SO WONDERFUL!! I fully understand how you felt and the fact that you did show your arms despite being uncomfortable with it, AND for the first time in soooo long, is absolutely brilliant and amazing -good on you!!!! You made me smile and feel like things can definitely be better!! Go you xxoo
Aww!! Every comment on this post is so lovely to read, and you’ve summed up how i feel about the situation
I am really proud of myself, and the fact that i did it means that with the right tools, anyone can. I seriously never thought i’d be able to show my arms until i was slim, so now i know i can do these things… it’s empowering 
And the amount of support is amazing, so thank you! 
xx