Does My Bum Look Big In This?

Posted in Binge-Eating & Overeating, Eating Disorders | Tagged Anorexia, Binge, Binge-Eating Disorder, Body Image, Bulimia, Compulsive Overeating, Diagnosis, Disordered Eating, Eating Disorder Memes, Eating Disorders, EDNOS, Wannarexics, Weight | 33 Comments

33 Responses

1. on June 18, 2012 at 9:58 PM | Reply mundanebrain

   Did you read my diary somehow? I journald (wha? thats not normal?) about obese anorectics weeks ago!!

   I couldnt agree more with what you said. Obese people can definately have anorectic thoughts. I was diagnosed with anorexia but never agreed with the label. I never wanted to lose weight because I felt fat. I knew I wasn’t fat. Hell, I hated the emaciated, skeletal kiddo-body I saw in the mirror. Anorectics think they’re fat, and I was not like that.

   I think an obese person would die even sooner of anorexia than someone else actually. First of all, their body is used to function on a lot higher intake, so the sudden fasts would cause serious problems. Second, before it would become ‘visible’ to the outside world (and maybe also to the person itself) and thus call for help, it would be too late. A skinny person fasting and losing a lot of weight will draw attention sooner than an overweight person doing the same.

   I, too, find it so intruiging how all EDs, even if they (by the book) appear to be two opposite ends of a spectrum, have such similar (irrational) thought and action processes. As I said, I WAS diagnosed as an anorectic, but your following words are my thoughts to the letter:

   “I want to lose weight: I overeat.
   I want to starve: I binge.”

   Seriously, I think we are on to something here. Eat that (pun intended), so-called professionals!

   (PS: little typo, anorectics have a preoccupation with losing, not gaining, weight according to the stereotype)
   (PPS: Is it just me or is the Dutch BMI-calculation different? We seem to hit higher BMIs in Dutch calculators sooner than on yours? Check out: http://bmi.hartstichting.nl/)

   Love, Sooz

   
   
   • on June 18, 2012 at 10:15 PM | Reply doesmybumlookbiginthis

     Thanks for the heads up on the typos! I knew i’d have some, i’ll respond probably to your comment later xx

     
     
     • on June 20, 2012 at 3:19 PM | Reply mundanebrain

       Looking forward to your reply. You reminded me of the post I still wanted to do about the 1 in 20 project, which is up on my blog now too!

       
       
       • on June 21, 2012 at 8:34 PM | Reply doesmybumlookbiginthis

         I clearly stole from your journal, sorry about that

         You make some great points! I agree an overweight person who becomes anorexic would suffer longer than a healthy person suddenly dropping weight. As well as the physical suffering, they would also most likely be praised for the weight loss with “oh you look so much better!” thus cementing the idea that thin is good, thin is what gets you noticed etc.

         Thanks for this brilliant comment xx

         P.s. My BMI was actually the same in the link, unless i’m using it wrong as i had to convert everything.

         
         
2. on June 18, 2012 at 11:15 PM | Reply 1qtnewf

   Have you read the book Unbearable Lightness by Portia De Rossi?

   OMG – heartbreaking, and totally relate-able. 180 degrees on the other side of the scale, but oh-so similar in need, desperation, and emotion.

   It was a real eye opener for me….

   You’re one smart cookie! Now put the cookies down and go read that book.

   
   
   • on June 21, 2012 at 10:26 PM | Reply doesmybumlookbiginthis

     I’ve never read it but it’s on my to-read list! The cookies are down Jessica haha xx

     
     
3. on June 19, 2012 at 2:17 AM | Reply Nataly

   Great article Emma! Although I’ve been diagnosed anorexic in the past, my current “healthy” weight means my diagnosis at present is EDNOS. I still engage regularly in anorexic (restrictive and b/p) behaviours but I am not at a critical low weight. Many times, people are trying to make sense of their disordered thinking, however, the DSM is there for a reason. All that is needed (making it sound SO simple) is more education on all the types of eating disorders and disordered eating. Disordered patterns of eating do not make and eating disorder but they can be just as distressing and confusing. The unfortunate part is the misinformation available in the media that focuses on shock value, without focusing on the sociological and psychological causes. Sigh. The more I find out, the less I know Hopefully one day, the difference between how the media portrays eating disorders and the actual facts will be reduced…then there will be no need for people to feel isolated from their own behaviour or thoughts and they can receive appropriate treatment. xo.

   
   
   • on June 21, 2012 at 10:46 PM | Reply doesmybumlookbiginthis

     I totally agree, many people want to understand their behaviour because disordered eating isn’t normal either. When i had an assessment with a counsellor said that she wasn’t sure if i was a disordered eater or had an eating disorder, but even if we had stopped the assessment there and she’d thought i was a disordered eater, i would still be pleased that i at least knew that i was disordered eating. But then half an hour later she realised i had an eating disorder, it just didn’t fit into any proper category, hence the EDNOS.

     Thanks Nataly xx

     
     
4. on June 19, 2012 at 8:37 AM | Reply Rose

   This was really thought-provoking, thank you for bringing up the issue. In my personal opinion (based on personal experience and extensive reading but nothing else) anorexia and eating disorders which lead to obesity aren’t the same thing – in a physiological sense.
   However, I think the reason behind the meme (which I don’t really find funny, although I can see the joke) is based on our societal view that thin is best, anorexia sufferers are “special” in some way and obese people enjoy their lives more. If we had our right minds as a society, obese people would not try to portray themselves as anorexic, their eating disorders would be recognised in their own right and both types of sufferers would be regarded with compassion for their own states.
   I agree with you and the commenters above that eating disorders result from similar feelings and may cause similar feelings (even if the mental processes and physical manifestations are different) so why should we (as in, anorexia sufferers) hold ourselves out as special and separate in some way? Our hells are different but they are equally bad. The idea that binge-eaters are just people with no self-control who love food is just wrong.
   Anorexia is awful, and binge-eating disorder is horrible. It is not fair for sufferers of either condition to be subject to the twisted views we have about body image (that anorexics have “self-control” when our thinness comes from utter fear and compulsion, that our bodies are beautiful when I can see from my own that the grey skin, furry coat and protruding veins are unnatural and grotesque; on the other hand that binge-eaters love food when, from my own experiences of bingeing and purging as a form of self-harm, bingeing is devoid of positive emotions associated with food; that binge-eaters indulge themselves when, as you are an example of, they are often quite capable of starving themselves, their bodies and minds just rebel against it.) In both cases, the relationship with food is utterly perverted.
   Sorry for the rant and self-important ramble. And congratulations for your recent successes, I’m sorry I didn’t comment on those to say well done

   
   
   • on June 21, 2012 at 11:02 PM | Reply doesmybumlookbiginthis

     Anorexia is romanticised – a commenter once pointed this out to me, it’s seen as somewhat glamorous even though we all know it really ISN’T glamorous at all. In our society, thin wins every time.

     Anorexia is worlds away from Binge-Eating Disorder and yet both disorders use food as a form of abuse, either starving themselves or eating so much they involuntarily throw up. They’re both disorders in their own right, i totally agree. Thank you for this comment Rose, it wasn’t self-important or ranty at all! xx

     
     
     • on October 1, 2012 at 4:08 AM | Reply Melody

       I am 34 and haven’t eaten in 14 days. I was 300 lbs. I am now 270. A little exercise and some multivitamins and like everyone said its so much easier to hide when you are this over weight. Not sure when I will eat again but I check my scale 10 times a day and drink only water. I feel great and won’t stop.

       
       
       • on October 3, 2012 at 2:00 PM | Reply doesmybumlookbiginthis

         Melody, i wouldn’t tell you to stop, because i know that isn’t going to work or help. I would like you to eat something, of course, but i’d also like to stop bingeing, and it’s not at all helpful when someone points out the obvious.

         What i will say though is i totally get it. If i was able to not eat for 14 days, it would be seriously tempting. But health is my main concern now, rather than weight. And it’s not healthy to not eat for 14 days, whether you’re underweight, overweight or inbetween. Although you’re taking multivitamins, you still need food to fuel your body. So many complications can occur when you don’t eat, but i’m sure you know this.

         I hope you find a way to have a healthy diet, because from a disordered perspective i can see you either bingeing due to starvation, or continuing to starve and becomeing ill regardless of weight. You’re on a very slippery slope, and i hope for your sake that things don’t get worse xx

         
         
5. on June 19, 2012 at 1:29 PM | Reply Greta

   You know, I had been non-purging bulimic for eleven years (I guess). I did not know I had an ED. I was just restricting during the week and binging heavily on weekends. I was a normal BMI. I thought it was just dieting I couldn’t stick to. I felt lost. I had no idea how to deal with this chaos around me. I had no diagnosis, no name. I think this lead me to purging. I hated it the first times, so I had periods I was not doing it. But practice makes perfect. Within a year I was purging 5 times per day.
   So I believe the diagnosis is important. And it’s not always the weight that defines what the person is suffering from. EDs are so complex and can arise from completely different causes.
   Thank you for bringing up this issue.
   xo.

   
   
   • on June 21, 2012 at 11:12 PM | Reply doesmybumlookbiginthis

     Aww Greta it makes me really sad to think of you suffering for 11 years without having a diagnosis I agree, our exterior doesn’t necessarily reflect our disorders xx

     
     
6. on June 19, 2012 at 3:40 PM | Reply Fiona

   Yes yes yes, we need diagnosis to understand more about what is going on. To have a name for what’s happening. To know we aren’t alone. To know that someone out there understands too… and so much more.
   When I was diagnosed with depression I was smiling from ear to ear for days. Because finally someone had told me what was going on. I wasn’t totally nuts (well I was, but..) Someone knew what I was going through, and for the first time, I had hope – if they knew what was wrong with me then they must have a way to help me right? (I was naive, I was like, 16).
   I used to take offence at people who were obese but labelled themselves pro-ana. Really took offence. I’d scream to my screen, you have to be below BMI 17.5 to be anorexic!! I didn’t look more closely at what they were going through. Some of them, rereading thier words now, they were experiencing as much a hell as I have in my own ED. All that seperates us, is the weight. I don’t place as much importance on the weight these days to define people as having a ‘disorder’ or not. Weight isn’t the disease – it’s the result of a disease. And like two people having cancer can display it in totally different ways, so can two people with ED.
   However, there are some people out there with overweight or obese BMIS who label themselves pro-ana who blatantly still get my heckles up. The ones who post all the usual wannarexic stuff – tips and tricks, who romanticise it, who go on and on about their bones are starting to stick out at BMI 30+ etc. I found that most of the pro-ana forums I’ve found online were run by people who were actually overweight and that blew my mind, because as the moderator of that forum, they appeared to be this ‘Queen Bee Anorexic’ person who had all the ‘tips’ and ‘goss’ and was passing it all on to her minions and devotees. Wow. Talk about blowing that deception wide open!
   We need better recognition of eating disorders because those who are emaciated are the tip of the iceberg. Most people with an Ed, you cannot tell by looking at them. They come in every shape and size – their distress, however, knows no bounds. They deserve to be acknowledged, they deserve to have access to information about what’s happening, why they feel this way, have these thoughts and struggles, what’s wrong, and that there is HOPE – that there is help out there for them and they don’t have to battle on alone with this unknown monster in their minds that they often hide for shame or fear of being called crazy.
   I’ve seen a lot of people with EDNOS say that they are treated like it’s not really a legit disorder. People with EDNOS dont have much or any access to help and treatment. That’s not right. Not right at all. EDNOS was created to be for the ‘small percentage’ of people who didn’t fit into the other ED categories – not the huge catch-all that it’s become.
   Sorry for my rant. Neeeeed sleep. Goodnight *hugs* thank you for writing this xxxx

   
   
   • on June 21, 2012 at 11:41 PM | Reply doesmybumlookbiginthis

     I think you’ve mentioned this before, that the moderators of pro-ana sites can sometimes be overweight themselves… it’s completely crazy. It’s sort of like when drug dealers stay away from their own drugs because they know what it can do to the addicted. So strange that anyone would want to host a pro-ana site that is overweight and not ‘trying to be’ Anorexic.

     I agree, EDNOS seems to be a little bit vague, i think a bit more research and open-mindedness could go a long way! Thanks for this Fiona, not a rant at all xx

     
     
     • on June 22, 2012 at 8:07 AM | Reply Fiona

       Yes to the drug dealers staying away from their own drugs analogy! That explains it perfectly.
       Another thing you find with the moderators is they are also often men – usually Indian men. I think there is a good deal of money to be made from these sites, we can monetise our blogs and the more people we have come through them the more money we would make right? Well they get hundreds, thousands.

       
       
7. on June 19, 2012 at 9:30 PM | Reply Jess

   I think it works both ways: weight-based ED stereotyping, even according to the DSM, can be so incredibly damaging. Obviously a person with a BMI of 32 could display every single other sign of anorexia, particularly if they’d started out at a BMI of, say, 40, and lost a huge amount of weight through extreme calorie restriction.

   The opposite happened with me: I was diagnosed with anorexia back when I was 18, but I still had BED and COE despite being at an ‘anorexic’ weight at the time. My food restriction was my way of fighting against the BED, which had previously led me to gain almost 3 stone in as many months. No one would treat me for anything other than anorexia. Hence, I am still left with BED and COE now, and am back to almost my highest adult weight.

   I wouldn’t be offended by the meme though – there are communities of ED fantasy enactment…anorexia ‘porn’ if you will. I know that there is a vicarious sense of being thin when one can’t be thin oneself – wish fulfilment via someone else’s suffering. So it is possible that someone might seek to be part of an ED (anorexia) community, despite being very overweight and having other eating issues.

   xxx

   
   
   • on June 21, 2012 at 11:51 PM | Reply doesmybumlookbiginthis

     I’m really surprised that your weight seemed to determine what Eating Disorder you were diagnosed with! Like some commenters have said, weight is the symptom not the cause. It’s so frustrating that they would only treat your for Anorexia when you weren’t Anorexic… it’s so ignorant. No wonder you haven’t got much faith in the therapy side of things. xx

     
     
   • on June 25, 2012 at 8:14 AM | Reply mundanebrain

     I was a BMI 10 and THUS anorectic. I have always hated (and disagreed) with this diagnosis. I had a serious binge eating problem by the time they diagnosed me, but nobody would take it seriously. The ‘reactive eating’ was because I was underweight. They would not listen when I told them that, after I binged, I would not allow myself food for a week straight as a punishment. In their criteria, a BMI10 was anorectic and it couldn’t be that I lost a lot of weight because of my induced punishment restriction after bingeing instead of (as they said it had to be) me bingeing (they wouldnt even consider it that because they assumed a binge at BMI10 would be two slices of toast) as a reaction to my low weight..

     And even though I was “clearly anorectic” they would still not have me at the treatment centre because they would not take anyone in below a BMI14, that was their absolute minimum. They even stressed that even those were exceptions as they normally had a criterium of BMI16..

     
     
     • on June 29, 2012 at 1:27 PM | Reply doesmybumlookbiginthis

       I swear you just can’t win with some professionals… they deem you anorexic when you binge substantially and then they won’t take you on with the criteria of Anorexia because your weight is too low? That makes no sense. It’s just not as clear as they’d like it to be. xx

       
       
8. on June 29, 2012 at 1:11 PM | Reply Ann

   “I saw it as if I was going to have issues with food, I might as well have Anorexia.”

   This was my reasoning, and I actually DID become anorexic in part because I recognized that I had tendencies toward overeating; I remember I came home from school and had a few miniature candy bars and then freaked out and thought ‘oh, no, what if THIS becomes a habit? I’d better become anorexic.’ Honestly, that was my thinking. So the next day I started to count calories and it spiraled down from there into very rigid, crazed, compulsively restrictive behavior. And yes, I was diagnosably anorexic [BMI 14.5 for 2 years]. But after that, like the above poster, I developed ‘reactive eating’ and struggled with binging for a number of years. Now I am at a healthy weight, though, and no longer binge. For me, picking up sports was what did it, mostly.

   The thing is, it doesn’t in the least surprise me that the people who run pro-ana forums are overweight. When I was actually anorexic I was mostly too wrapped up in my own world and my own body to give a sh-t what other people were doing or to want support–after all, I had it figured out! I WAS a successful anorexic! I didn’t need to romanticize skinniness because it was right in front of me and made my butt hurt when I sat in chairs [no padding]. Maybe I was an atypical anorexic in that my goal was not so much to look super-skinny as to stave off puberty, so even just looking boyishly skinny was enough and at some point I got freaked out by my bones.

   But also, I would’ve had NO energy for the maintenance of a website; I mostly wanted to lie in the sun and try not to faint until I could get up the energy to run, then try not to faint in the shower, then do my school and afterschool activities while agonizing over whether or not celery had more calories than I thought it did… honestly, however dissatisfied I may be with my ‘normal,’ athletic body… nothing is worth that. I was in too much pain, mental and physical, to enjoy much of anything while I had that disease. On the other hand, binge eating is horrible too, and I’m well aware of that, since I suffered through that too. The feeling of being way overfull is almost as bad as the feeling of starvation.

   A little healthy appreciation for physical pleasure–the pleasure of eating appropriate amounts of good foods and the pleasure of physical movement–can go a long way toward helping people out of ED-land.

   Gosh, sorry this became a treatise! Your blog makes me think a lot. Thank you.

   
   
   • on July 1, 2012 at 8:44 PM | Reply doesmybumlookbiginthis

     Ann, thank you for sharing your experiences, i can imagine how worrying about eating too much can start the obsessive attitude with food and spur on your Anorexia.

     What you said about maintaining a pro-ana site seems quite reasonable, as a successful anorexic as you put it, there was no need to encourage yourself. It seems so strange that people would actively encourage usually vulnerable young girls to engage in unhealthy behaviour for the sake of looking skinny… as well as all that is wrong with that, for them to turn out to be overweight just makes it seem that much more destructive.

     I’m starting to appreciate physical activity the more i do it, and i think it’s going to be key in getting over my Eating Disorder I’m glad it helped you! Thanks for commenting xx

     
     
9. on August 13, 2012 at 7:50 AM | Reply mrs1so1and1so

   Thank you SO much for writing this! Seriously, I could cry. I had no idea that anyone felt the same way I did, much less that they could express it in an intelligent manner. I spent a short amount of time with very restrictive eating and then binge-purge habits four years ago right before settling into binging and some compulsive eating. I often fall back into strict diets, sometimes they even last a month or so, but I always end up gaining the weight all back, and I define myself as a binge eater. I’ve always been embarrassed to even imply that I was ever “anorexic” by describing my restriction since I never got underweight, and especially since I’m currently overweight, but I also feel angry that I have to “pick a side”. Starving myself was my gateway into this whole battle of food issues, and it’s something that I still often do, although not for long periods of time, and I overeat more often than I starve. But I find that my mentality is really not much different in these two scenarios, because I’m equally stressed and obsessed. Only one friend knows about my history of food issues, and I’ve put off telling many good friends and also my family simply because I feel that they would not take me seriously. I feel that first off, they would equate having an eating disorder to being very thin, and since I’m not thin, I must not have a real eating disorder. Second, once I explained B.E.D. to them, they would think I’m just a pig with no self-control, and my still-alive restrictive habits would be completely disregarded since they “obviously” can’t coexist with overeating (or fatness). Now, I’m probably not giving these people enough credit, but it’s very hard to overcome the fear and embarrassment of trying to say I’m fat AND have an eating disorder that’s more complex than just eating all day long. I get very angry when I think about how much sympathy anorexia gets, whereas overeating disorders get none. I’ve wished very many times that I could just “switch” eating disorders, because at least anorexia is taken seriously by the general public. I wish I could tell my loved ones what I’m going through so I could have some support (and so I don’t have to make up an excuse when I decline a dinner invitation), but I’m far too afraid that all their preconceived notions of eating disorders would cause them to completely misunderstand me anyways.
   The way some people describe binge eaters makes me flinch, because even though they get it all wrong, it makes me feel very dirty. I’m even more disgusted by those portrayals than my own, gross habits.
   It’s hard to overcome the shame of an eating disorder when you feel like the only practical option is to keep it a secret forever and recover quietly.
   But thank you for helping me feel a little less alone.

   
   
10. on August 15, 2012 at 3:19 PM | Reply doesmybumlookbiginthis

    Wow, thank you for this comment. This probably sounds quite random to you, but i’m doing something next week that will hopefully raise awareness for binge-eating and compulsive overeating that i’m terrified about. I’ve been wondering if i’m crazy, because there will be people who judge me and think i haven’t got an eating disorder because i’m not underweight, and think i just love food and i’m using my ED as an excuse.

    But… i don’t care anymore. A couple of weeks ago i did, but now i just don’t care. And your comment has helped me realise that. I know how you feel, telling people you don’t think will understand is so difficult – most people don’t get it at first because of lack of awareness. My mum didn’t understand until she read ‘Overcoming Binge Eating’ by Dr Christopher Fairburn, she admitted at first she thought i was just being a bit dramatic.

    And that’s what makes it so difficult to talk about! Although Anorexics get their fair share of “just eat a sandwich” and “stop being selfish” and Bulimia is disregarded because ‘it’s not as serious as Anorexia’ when bingeing and purging is so destructive to the body.

    I’m not going to dish out advice because i don’t know you or your friends and family, i will say that the majority of people saw that i was struggling and wanted to be there for me. I suggested books for the people who didn’t get it, and i had to ask myself “if my friend doesn’t get it, won’t read even one article and thinks i’m a pig… then that friend isn’t worth having.”

    I really hope you can conquer your bingeing and restricting, it’s awful to have any Eating Disorder, and bingeing is so misunderstood. Take care, and thanks again for commenting xx

    
    
    • on August 16, 2012 at 9:18 PM | Reply mrs1so1and1so

      Thank you, and thanks for the tip about sharing books. I will have to try that with a few people (although my dad wouldn’t read a book to save his life lol). You’re right, as much limelight as anorexia and bulimia get, they are still grossly misunderstood. Eating disorders as a whole need more awareness.
      I wish you the best of luck in raising awareness for binging and compulsive eating! It must be very scary, but there are so many sufferers who would benefit from more awareness. Your bravery will not go unappreciated

      
      
11. on November 6, 2012 at 7:02 PM | Reply Emma

    What the…oh my God, I read all of this and was thinking “YES! You understand me!! I can’t believe this!!” And then I reached the bottom and it was signed ‘Emma’…my name. I actually looked at your photo on the top to see if the future me had come and made a blog, haha xD

    
    
    • on November 12, 2012 at 4:15 PM | Reply doesmybumlookbiginthis

      Haha brilliant I’m really pleased that you can relate! xx P.s. you have a great name

      
      
12. on November 11, 2012 at 2:50 PM | Reply Chs

    Hi there.
    Im 19 years old and am about 5″8 and weigh about 11.3 stones. I know I’m in a healthy weigh. But Im not pleased about my posture and so on bodytype. Im masculine / bigger / stronger looking girl without having the real muscles. My question is, can I get any slimmer/thinner model posture after being a bigger postured girl. Or is truely that some have bigger bones than others? I was at a skinny slim bodytype around the age of 4 t/m 9

    
    
    • on November 12, 2012 at 4:33 PM | Reply doesmybumlookbiginthis

      Hi Chs, i’m pretty sure having big bones is a myth, but we all have different body types and yours might be more muscular, or bigger built. For example, even if i was underweight, i’ll never have a small bum or thin legs. It just won’t happen.

      The only thing i can suggest is toning up might be option of building muscle (not like body builders, don’t worry) rather than losing weight. Another thing, is embracing your body shape, because unfortunately we can’t really change that. I hope this helps in a small way xx

      
      
      • on March 23, 2013 at 7:48 PM | Reply Kaylie

        Omg THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING THIS! Back when I was bingeing, all I wanted to do was starve and I didn’t understand why I couldn’t and why I kept eating even though I hated it and just askdkdoeoejf I FELT EXACTLY THE SAME AS WHAT YOU WROTE HERE! Thank you! I thought I was the only one that felt that way

        
        
13. on April 20, 2013 at 9:23 AM | Reply Katedeflate

    I flip-flop behaviors. Went from bmi 31 to bmi 16.2. You can be fat and anorexic. The weight loss starts somewhere. However, had I remained at a bmi 31, no, that’s not anorexia. I believe you would have to be actively restricting and that would cause downward movement in an obese person.

    
    
14. on May 24, 2013 at 7:52 PM | Reply sarah

    I’ve had an eating disorder for 20 years and am currently studying to work in the field of psychology. I had BED (binge eating disorder) which was once classified as a specific type of EDNOS but in the new DSM 5 it is being listed as its own disorder (bulimia and anorexia are also being reclassified) BED made me morbidly obese (290 lbs at 5ft2 and 18 yrs) Then I developed another type of EDNOS. I would only eat every 5 to 10 days and when I ate I threw up. I got so good at it I didn’t need to stick my finger down my throat anymore. I fit all the criteria for Anorexia but the BMI (despite the fact I lost 155 lbs). Finally I spiraled into Bulimia and have stuck there for years. I have known a lot of girls with EDs and it seems that Many Anorexics are envious of Bulimics because they can purge, and Bulimics are jealous of Anorexics because they have control. Not enough research is put in to EDs that is why the majority of people who have EDs are diagnosed with EDNOS.