I had the slightly irrational fear that my therapist would kind of, sort of… kick me out of treatment if I revealed to her that instead of having 3 healthy breakfasts like we’d discussed, I only had 2.
I was seriously anxious the night before, wondering if she’d get mad at me and tell me off. I hadn’t been for a walk 3 times either as I’d had a stomach bug. My other goal, though, was to get to therapy on time and independently – no lifts, just buses.
I completed the 3rd goal, but my failure of the other goals made me feel like I’d failed at life.
I didn’t have 3 healthy breakfasts even though I had 5 opportunities… I fail at life. There’s no way I’m going to get healthy and slim, I’m just going to stay disordered and A MILLION STONE from my goal weight.
This is how my brain works. I was on a downward spiral. But then, as I was on the 2nd bus to therapy, I realised that I got myself up on time, on both bus stops on time, and I’d get to therapy with a couple of minutes to spare.
I even had a wardrobe malfunction – the button above the zip of my jeans had come off – note: IT DID NOT PING OFF! It simply came off, I’d like to point that out. My tummy has not expanded since I bought them a couple of weeks ago, phew! – I’d forgotten. So my outfit I’d planned was a no-go. I improvised with a high-low maxi dress I hadn’t worn out before. It’s better to wear it with bare legs but I was too self-conscious so I teamed it with leggings.
I got there on time, and I’d had a text from the Bride saying it was fine for me to wear a cover up during the pictures and reception which means only about 20 minutes to 1 hour will I be showing my arms! I’m thrilled. In an ideal world I’d wear the cover-up the whole day but it isn’t my day, and I’ll take what covering up time I can get. I’m so pleased, I know I’ll be able to focus on the lovely couple rather than my bingo wings.
So despite not having completed all of my goals last week, I’m in a much better, happier place just knowing I completed 1 goal and can cover up my arms for my friend’s special day.
This week I have the task of having 4 healthy breakfasts – my chosen number, not my therapist’s – a half an hour walk everyday OUTSIDE (!!!) and getting to therapy on time and independently again.
These goals might seem a little bit pathetic to some, but my therapist was saying about setting realistic goals so that I can achieve them rather than skipping ahead and falling at the first hurdle.
What goals have you been set or set yourself that seem a tad trivial to others but mean a lot to you? Make me feel a bit better please, guys. My friends are trying to starting well-paid jobs and I’m just trying to leave the house everyday.